The Realistic Joneses

April 21 – May 7, 2017
Mainstage Production directed by Daniel Kucan

Funny and moving and wonderfully weird, The Realistic Joneses is a tantalizing conversation about the bewildering business of being alive. Bob and Jennifer Jones and new neighbors John and Pony share so much more than identical homes and common last names. As their lives begin to intertwine, the Joneses must choose between idyllic fantasy and harsh reality.

The Realistic Joneses features Mike Rasmussen, Rebecca Reyes, Timothy Cummings, and Tina Rice and is directed by A Public Fit’s Associate Artistic Director, Daniel Kucan. As always, immediately following the performance A Public Fit will continue the conversation with The Buzzz, a moderated discussion of the play’s themes, style, and impressions. The Buzzz is an expression of APF’s on-going commitment to audience engagement, treating each production as the start of an unending conversation.

Director’s Note (from the program)

Please note: the bees released at the top of scene four have been specially trained to sting only the impure of heart. You should be fine.

You probably weren’t expecting that – bees. Or rather, you were expecting that there wasn’t going to be bees. In the pantheon of expectations one has when going to the theater, one generally notices a complete lack of bees. What you do with the shock of encountering bees at the theater, how you deal with that surprise, well, that’s on you.

A Completely Serious Note on the Text from the Director

No animals were harmed in the execution of tonight’s production, with the exception of that thing we found living in Rebecca’s weave and he had it coming. Trust me on this.

Realistically, he was just as shocked as we were at the encounter. He was simply living his rodent life, doing his rodent thing, and then POW! there we were with a broom handle and a garbage bag. He hadn’t planned for it any more than we did, and let’s be honest – all parties dealt with the situation poorly, two-legged and four. There was a remarkable amount of both over- and underreacting, sometimes, ironically, at exactly the same time. But that’s how we respond to surprises (think bees), even the ones that change, or bring to an end, our lives. Especially those, maybe.

A Somber and Sensitive Offering About the Play From the Director

Sadly, our production designer has gone missing. If you see him, approach with caution as he is, in fact, an obscenity spewing parrot named Luigi with a bad attitude and a chip on his, I don’t know, wing? Do parrots have shoulders? What’s more nonsensical: a gangsta parrot or bees in scene four? Hard to say. But realistically the meaning of a thing, the underlying madness or logic of a turn of events, rarely dictates how well I might temper my response. Is a car accident easier to process than a space alien invasion? Is cancer more startling than pirates?

A Thoughtful Contribution from the Director that is not even remotely Self-serving or Congratulatory with just the right Amount of Pathos and Artistic Merit, tempered with a Heartfelt Plea for Donations and Support of the Arts during this Time of Political Upheaval and Social Uncertainty

This show was previously workshopped for eleven weeks with a post-modern acting troupe of Himalayan Sasquatch. APF would like to take a moment to recognize the work of Ugnatch, Rrgloop, Hamblatthany, and Woog-woog. We couldn’t have done it without you guys. (Plaffk glambany farooh! Right? You guys know what I’m talking about!)

I mean, I try to give it all some weight, some gravitas, as if buying a new sofa were anything other than a completely ridiculous exercise in, I don’t know, something. I pick my clothes and trim my beard and act shocked (shocked I tell you!) at the news every night and I read about teenage wizards and angrily hang up on telemarketers while wishing I had more time to garden and plan for my future right up until the very moment I am informed that I may not have one at all. A future, I mean. But here’s the secret and I’m sure you’ve been dying to hear it so I’ll go ahead and uncork this bottle and release its genie laughing into the night.

It’s all just bees, kid.

It’s all just bees in the theater at the top of scene four. And you probably weren’t expecting that – or rather you were expecting that there wasn’t going to be that.

D.K. April 2017